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Eliza tossed and turned in bed, her legs were cool as they slipped from under the blanket. Rafe did not even stir as she moved about in the bed. He was used to her being a wild sleeper.It was not in her nature to sleep still, and it was not in her nature to be able to sleep when there was something on her mind.

Terrence.

Her feet and legs were even cooler as she padded across the bare wooden floor of their bedroom, and fished her phone out of her bag. There were no messages from Terrence, and against her better judgment…against her nature more so than anything else, Eliza pressed the home key and the Messages icon.

The home button lingered under her finger like fire, and she began to type like it.

I know that you probably do not want to hear from me, but I have not stopped thinking about you, and I want you to know that we were both blindsided here and that I had no idea…

And I miss you already.

Always…

She placed the phone on the dresser, and was going to walk away…until she saw Terrence’s name on the screen.

Cannot sleep, missing you and thought I would never hear from you again.

Eliza pressed the phone in her hands as if it was Terrence there, she would have crushed him as much as she could in a hug if she could have held him.

I know that you did not know, I know everything and even more so that I miss you Eliza…

She slumped in the corner with the phone, stealing a look at Rafe still on the bed and breathless with emotion and wondering what to write Terrence…finally…

I love you.
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Eliza was glad that Rafe suggested that they go out to her favorite bar. She put on one of her favorite cocktail dresses, and looked forward to seeing Josephine and Fiona. Josephine was her favorite bartender, and Fiona was going to join them after her shift.”I still think it would be so fitting for you guys to get married at the Morris-Jumel Mansion…” Josephine said, pushing two Laphroaigs in their direction.”

“A haunted house for our wedding?” Rafe smiled at Josephine, and Eliza savored the smokiness of her drink behind a grin.

“It is a historical house,” Josephine corrected, leaning forward and sticking out her tongue Rafe.

“The historical house of my namesake Eliza Jumel,” Eliza smiled, taking another sip of her drink.

Rafe leaned back on his stool, and took Eliza’s hand.

“Yeah, no. We already have a locale for the wedding and the honeymoon…” he grinned, and kissed her hand.

And it was that romantic gesture from him, and the sudden pretense of romantic perfection and everything around her caught in her throat. Eliza thought of Terrence, and she was barely able to breathe or swallow.

She wondered where he was, what he was thinking, what he was doing, if he would ever be in contact with her again? Because she could not be in contact with him after what had happened. What had had to have happened, what they made her do…

Had someone known that they were lovers, and that was the reason why?

“Eliza? Are you okay?” Rafe asked her, and she realized that she was panting. Her heart raced, and she looked at him mute for a moment. Was she having a panic attack? She had never had one, but she felt unstable.

“I am fine,” she whispered the lie, until it was true.
My publisher Riverdale Avenue Books has an anthology based on the Morris-Jumel mansion–Eliza Jumel is a real person, and a namesake for my Eliza!!! You can buy a copy of the anthology here!
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When Eliza went home, she wanted to decompress and forget about the day. Her recollection was  too fresh, as she closed her eyes and put her hand to her head.

“Liza?”

She looked at Rafe, and could tell that he was very concerned for her. Opening her eyes wide, she smiled at him.

“Just a long day,” she smiled wanly. She knew her smile was weak, but that Rafe would let it go if she smiled at all.

“Poor baby,” he said, and wrapped his arms about her. Her ring was snagged in his shirt, and she pulled it away delicately.

“I’m okay,” she said, her head resting on his chest.

Eliza always felt so safe with Rafe.

He tilted her chin up at his face, and she closed her eyes as he pressed his slanted lips across hers.

She saw Terrence then in her recollect, she saw him when she went back into his office. Terrence had smiled at first when she walked in, but the tight way she pressed her lips together surely let him know it was not a visit for pleasure.

Eliza sunk more into Rafe’s kiss, to soothe herself. To make her forget the look on Terrence’s face when she let him go. She had not been able to say anything else, to him because he had grabbed his personal belongings, and walked around her out of the door of what had been his office.

She closed her eyes, and kissed Rafe deeper, wanting to forget everything but his kiss and his comfort.

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When Eliza closed the door to Terrence’s office, Lila was standing outside of the door in the hallway. She almost gasped at the sight of Lila there.Lila’s smile was tight, even as she tried to seem casual.

“Can I have a word with you?” Lila asked, following her.

“Of course,” Eliza nodded.

They walked into her office which was at the end of the hall, and that was when everything began to move like molasses for Eliza.

“It is necessary to downsize Eliza, it is always awful when we have to do this.” Lila had said.

“But we just promoted him…”

Lila crossed her arms, and looked at Eliza with stern but gentle eyes.

“Eliza, it troubles me that this is necessary too, but it is…necessary.”

Eliza shook her head back and forth, after Lila walked out of her office and shut the door behind her. She put her head in her hands, thinking she had just walked out of Terrence’s office. Standing up, she looked out of her window and pressed her head to the cool glass which soothed her a bit. 

Lila had told her it was necessary, but not right away. But it was necessary, and she was going to have to do it. She moved her head from the window, sighed and pressed her hand to her head. She went to open her door, but instead pressed her back to it and slumped to the floor sitting on her heels. Her eyes were damp, and she pressed them tight because she did not want to cry. She had to steel herself for what she would have to do. 

It was not immediate, but as Terrence’s supervisor it was her job. She was going to have to let him go, and she did not know how she was going to…

…let him go….
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Eliza stood in Terrence’s doorway, and as he looked at her, she caught a glimpse

of his dating profile on his laptop. She swallowed, and walked deeper into his office.

“I was just thinking about you,” he said, his finger on his screen as if to illuminate his dating profile.

Her mouth still felt stretched out from having been with Oscar, but being with Terrence at this moment, she was focused on him.

“Were you?” she questioned, her arms across her chest.

“Yeah,” he said. “Close the door behind you.”

Eliza walked backwards, and closed the door. She stood before him, and felt the run on her pantyhose tug at her toes.

“Yeah…” her voice trailed, and he watched her with keen interest and she wondered if he knew where she had been instinctively.

“I was looking at my dating profile, and I had not for a long time because I had no reason to and then I had alerts on my phone. People who want to talk to me. And there are women who maybe…but then you. You walk by my door, and I know I can do what I want because I can and that you will not care, but you…”

He looked up at her.

“Me…”
“You have spoiled me for the world…”
Eliza smiled at him, her lips stretched in a very different way than they had been stretched before. Terrence was so precious to her, and she knew exactly what she meant. He made her open  up her heart in way she had never intended to. He forced her to make her world larger.

“You…” she whispered like a scream.

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Eliza looked at Oscar sitting next to her at the bar. There was no way for her to avoid the feelings that she had for him.Even now.

She had not seen him for awhile, his on and off again relationship with Polly was as complicated as hers with Rafe. Maybe that bonded them, or not, but it was what they were. His thigh pressed to hers was the most intimate thing in the world.

“So Terrence?”

Oscar lifted his brow at her, and she looked down at his thigh that touched hers. The shape of the muscle there.

“It’s hard to describe him,” she said like a teenage girl. “But he is someone I started seeing.”

“Are you in love?”

“I could not be anything less than in love with him.” She answered, looking at his thigh still. “But that does not mean that I am not happy to see you. Does not mean I love you any less…how are you?”

“Good…” Oscar sighed, and the warmth of his breath bathed the nape of her neck.

“I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you,” he concurred.

“How is Polly?”

“She’s Polly, and Rafe?”

“Rafe,” she whispered almost like tears.

Eliza pressed her knee to Oscar’s, thinking about talking to him about Terrence and Rafe…but being so drawn to him. Looking down at his thigh, and thinking about biting him there and love bites she placed upon his thighs before she went down on him. Often she was tempted to bite him there, but she did not. She had been so ravenous for him, that she could not stop nibbling on his flesh.

“I missed you…” she said, the soft confession made her clit throb softly.

Oscar put his hand on her thigh, and Eliza studied the bulge of his veins there…

Fifty-fifty chance of what was going to happen between them…
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It felt like deja-vu all over again. Walking into their apartment, Rafe waiting for her barefoot by the doorjamb. Eliza looked at him, while she twisted her engagement ring on her finger. He watched her with a look of bemusement, as she took off her shoes and joined him in the hallway.

There was no need for them to say anything to each other.

Eliza took off the rest of her clothes, and Rafe followed behind her. He kneaded her shoulders gently, exactly where she needed to be touched.

So she could relax.

She was not having second thoughts about anything, about Terrence or Rafe.

She turned to look at Rafe, her lips parted and she wanted to say she loved him. But she did not need to make a sound, they did not need to make declarations that were evident in the way that they looked at each other.

There was so much between them. She closed her eyes, and then was overtaken by memories of what had just happened:

“I want you…” Terrence said, and pulled her close and looked into her eyes.

Just him looking at her was one of the most intimate things she had ever experienced with a man she was with.She closed her yes when he blinked, and pressed her face into his chest.

“There is really nothing to tell,” she said caressing his chest. I am here with you now and that is all that is important…” she whispered into his chest.

Her heart was gripped with love, as she stood naked and exposed in front of the man she was going to marry.

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