Author Archives: F DOT LEONORA

Bouquet

“There is something different about you,” Calvin said as he kissed Sally’s breasts and nipples. She moaned because it felt good, and she liked having her breasts touched but they were a little sore. They had been sore when she was pregnant with Chloe too. Sally winced a bit when he touched her and he pulled away. “Did I pinch too hard?”

“No,” she smiled taking his hand. “They are just a little sore.”

“And bigger,” he said lying on his side, looking at her. “I like it. You…you got nauseous while I was cooking your favorite meal tonight and you have not gotten your period for awhile. Do you think you might be pregnant?” Sally stared at him with wide eyes, and he looked anxious. “I know that you were pregnant before so you would know how you felt but I feel like it is a possibility.”

“I just wanted to make love with you, and be close to you before I told you that I was pregnant. I was so nervous to tell you because we have not been together that long … I was not sure…”


He kissed her and avoided her breasts. But he caressed her stomach, and she kissed his neck.

“I love you,” he said. “I love you and our baby.”


“I love the baby too, I was scared and I was thinking that I would not have it. But I didn’t want to lose a part of you. I wanted the baby no matter what.”


“Did you think I was not going to want to be a part of my baby’s life? That I was not going to want to be with you?” Calvin looked stern, but she could tell it was just because he was hurt and probably blamed himself.

“Chloe’s dad and I–”


“I am not Chloe’s dad.”

“I know that, but it is hard for me to let go of the past. You know this.”

“I know because you are still here and we are going to have a baby.”

Sally started to cry, and she could not believe how transparent her situation was. After she saw Eliza and Bibi, Eliza asked her if she was pregnant. She did not even want to pretend that she was not because she was feeling so vulnerable at the time.

“I just can tell. Especially after I had Bibi? I can just tell from really early on,” Eliza confessed.

Yes,” Sally admitted looking at Bibi. “I am pregnant. Maybe this time I will be a better mother.”

“You were the best mother you could be and you loved Chloe. You will love the new baby.”
Sally nodded, she was nodding as she cried and Calvin held her in his arms and kissed her temple over and over.

“I love you and our baby,” he said over and over to her like a mantra.

She fell asleep in his arms, and she dreamt about a bouquet of flowers that she caught at a disembodied wedding. Calvin was the groom and she was the bride, but she was still catching the bouquet.

The bouquet maybe represented the baby?

 

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Imagination

Never in her wildest imagination did Sally think that she was going to see Eliza and not want to throttle her. But things had changed, and she was standing in front of her and just smiled at her nemesis.

Eliza returned her smile — but what else would she do with her daughter there? Sally did not know the dark-haired woman she was with, but she knew that she was the woman that Oscar was seeing. Sally was not as close with Oscar as she had been, because she still thought so much about Chloe when she was with him. 

But then Sally looked at Bibi. Eliza’s little girl was so pretty, she looked like her mother but had a babydoll face. When Chloe was a little girl like that, Sally was not with her all of the time. Her parents had raised Chloe which explained some of the reasons why they were not as close as she had wanted them to be. Chloe had still been her daughter though, and she had had a relationship with her and was closer to her before she died than she had ever been.

It still made her tear up when she thought about her daughter.

Right then Bibi walked over to her with a flower. Eliza looked with soft eyes at her daughter. Sally squatted so she could be face to face with Bibi, unable to resist herself from hugging the little girl. She felt the tears come to her so she exhaled and let go of Bibi. Bibi took her hand, and Sally looked at Eliza who just kept smiling at her daughter.

Sally squeezed Bibi’s hand. She was so emotional, and Eliza could know how much her daughter had changed her mind. Sally was at a crossroads, because never in her wildest imagination had she imagined that she would be pregnant. Pregnant and deeply in love with the father of her child, but not sure that she should have the baby.

Their baby.

She did not want to trap Calvin and make him think that he had to be with her–that she was trying to trap him. Every time she had gotten pregnant, it had not been the time for her to have a baby. With Chloe she was too young, and now it was too early in her relationship even though she loved him to tell him that she was pregnant.

But hugging Bibi, and bonding with her let her know that she could not give her baby up. That she had to have this baby, and it did not matter what Calvin wanted because she was ready to be a mother again. How could she have looked a gift horse in the mouth? That she was able to get pregnant again, that she had another chance? Sally put a hand on her stomach and she felt blessed.

 

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The King

Sally did not realize that a sexual fantasy did not have to be over the top.

All of her life she had been over the top with lovers. Never ever did she imagine that she would get wet over the thought of being pressed to the kitchen counter with Calvin’s hand shoved down the front of her sweatpants. The taste of expensive wine on both of their lips and the kitchen fragrant with the dinner he was making, as he pressed his pelvis to hers and touched her like he was looking for a lost treasure between her legs.

Wet and anticipating, Sally moved against his hand. He said something to her in French–he spoke fluent French and Italian. Calvin had traveled a lot as a chef, but it was in New York that he wanted to put down his roots.

“And then I found you,” he had told her. “And I do not want to go anywhere else now.”

He had pinned her to the counter–she wanted to be pinned–and he touched her like he had found the gold between her legs. 

But she was sure that the gold was within him.

Thinking about them by the kitchen counter was now the sexiest experience she had ever had in her life, and she had done a lot of things with lovers. But the way he made her feel, and the way that she felt when she went over to him.

It had been so hard to say she loved him, but the way that he made her feel was something that she had not been able to keep to herself. She wanted to be close to him, and they had been closer in that moment than on any other moment she felt before that and they had been very close prior.

Calvin pushed down the waistband of her sweatpants and stuck his fingers inside of her. Sally held onto the counter as he finger fucked her, and then he knelt before her. She looked down at him, and the way he looked up at her took her breath away. Moving his fingers slowly, he replaced them with his tongue and Sally thought she would pass out from the replacement of the two.

She hissed as he continued to make love to her with his mouth. When he slipped his tongue inside of her, she bent over and caressed his head. It felt like a type of worship even though he was the one that was pleasuring her.

When he looked up at her, he was the king of her universe.

 

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Creative

Sally loved the creative part of her job, but sitting on Calvin’s couch with her MacBook on her lap she was not thinking about her work. She was thinking that she loved him, and she wanted to say it in a creative way but she was going to settle for right now.

He was in the kitchen with an apron about this waist and he looked so serious. He was serious about food preparation, she learned that at his bar and in his home. The apartment always smelled unbelievable from his culinary inventions, and needless to say, there was always a wine that blew her mind. She had just put down a glass from almost before she was born. He was not so precious about wine that he would not savor something priceless every now and then.

She stood in front of him, and thought to herself there she was in her sweatpants, no makeup, and her hair tangled. What did she look like to him in front of him like that? 

His silent answer was to rim the band of her sweats with his fingers and use the elastic to pull her pelvis close to him. He kissed her neck and slipped his whole hand into the front of her sweatpants. Sally moved against his fingers until he rubbed the wet core of her. A physical and emotional flood washed over her, and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

“I love you,” she said and watched his face to see what he was thinking.

“I know,” he said and nuzzled her. “I knew when you did not tell me you loved me, that you loved me.”

She nodded because he was right. She could smell her scent on his fingers when he hugged her, and she could smell her love right song with it. She had told him that she loved him because she could not keep it inside a moment longer, it scared and thrilled her. Being close to him though made her happier than she had been in a very long time, and if it was temporary it could burst at some point if it had to. But being in their bubble now was all that mattered.

 

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Everything I Loved

“I need you to tell me what you want Sally, I have been super patient with you and I want to know what you want from this,” Calvin said, as he poured more red wine for her. A red blend that she was not sure what grapes were in it, but she knew she liked the combination.

It felt like deja vu to her, as she looked at him from across the counter of the bar. The same place where they had met, and she had waited for him to take her home after his shift. She looked at him as she took a sip from her wine glass.

“What if I do not know what I want?” she posed the question and hoped she did not peak his ire.

Calvin stared at her.

“I do not believe that you do not know what you want.”

Sally looked at him with wide eyes, he knew she was lying but she did not want to tell him what she wanted. She did not know if she had a right to say what she wanted. 

She caressed her glass of wine, and he watched her. He would not stop staring at her, and that unsettled her. He knew that she wanted him, how could he not? The way she surrendered to him over and over again. Their passion was like nothing she had ever experienced before, because there was nothing she was hiding or pretending. Oscar was the only other person she had given so much to, but there had been more barriers between them than she wanted to acknowledge.

She looked at Calvin, and he looked away.

The night wound down, she stayed in front of him all night barely touching her wine but he placed a bottle by her glass. She got up when he was starting to clean up, and he stopped her when she came around the bar. She looked hurt.

“Can’t you tell how I feel?” she pleaded.

Calving looked down at her,

“Maybe I need to hear as well sometimes, maybe I need to hear how you feel Sally. Because I love you, and you know that I love you.”


“You never said you loved me before,” she said, and her lip trembled as her eyes watered. “Why do you love me?” 

He kissed her so thoroughly that her mouth was swollen with his kiss when he finally relented. She looked up at him.

“Because I don’t know how to stop…”

“I can’t tell you I love you, because I have lost everything I loved…” Sally looked up at him, and he kissed her tears.

“You’ll never lose me.”

 

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Like A Teenager

Sally looked at a picture of herself when she was a teenager. She looked so much like, or her daughter Chloe had looked so much like her. 

Sally wished sometimes that she could go back to those times when she was young, and before all of the things that had happened to her had happened to her.  Would she still have had Chloe? And this was not because she did not love her daughter, but because she wondered if she would have wanted to have her if she had known she was going to die so young and that she would be left to mourn and grieve for her?

But when she was born, Chloe was the most beautiful baby. She was a teenager still, but she had given birth to such a perfect and beautiful baby.

“Is that your daughter?”

Sally looked up at Calvin with a smile.

“No, this is me.”

“Beautiful,” he said and kissed her forehead. She reached for his hand, She wanted to feel him. She wanted him close.

He pulled her up by one hand, and kissed her mouth. 

It felt so soothing to have him look at her and touch her. It was a way for her to decompress and not think so much about her pain.

He had only given her joy so far.

The sad tears on her face turned to warm, happy ones.

She was not a teenager anymore, but her feelings and her needs were almost adolescent. His hand inside her blouse felt almost like innocence. Although her nipple was achingly hard.

She ached for more.

Her feelings for him were effusive like those of a teenager, but with none of the emotional or physical innocence anymore.

 

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Her Favorite Mistake

Calvin wrapped his arms about Sally. It was not a warm day, but it was not that cold as they sat on the ground by the calla lillies she had placed on the grave of her daughter.

She had told him about Chloe, that she had died too young. But it was here that she told him about how she died, and the short estrangement they had had leading up to her death.

“She was like me, she fell in love with the wrong man and it was her undoing.”

Calvin kissed her damp temple and damp cheek. He was silent, but he wondered if she meant that so literally. Was he just another bad chocie to her?  or would he have a real chance with her?

He helped her up, and her slightly soiled coat did not seem to bother her as she looked down at the white calla lillies and the headstone that had a picture of the girl who looked like a younger version of her mother. It made him lachrymose as well because she was so young and beautiful and she should not be dead.

At home—well his apartment—Sally clung to him. He could not resist her, but he was not sure what she wanted so soon after the mournful event they had shared together. She caressed his face, and stood on her toes to kiss him.

“Please,” she said kissing him, until he could not resist and followed her to the couch. She slowly unbuttoned her coat and her dress and without panties on, he immediately stared at the apex atop her shapely thighs. He watched her spread her legs and look at his lips. He licked his lips, before he kissed her there and then stuck his tongue in. 

Sally ran her hands through his hair, and he licked her greedily. Needing that affirmation from her, and needing to feel as close fo her as he could.

To be her favorite mistake if that was all he was to her.

 

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Melting

Calvin caressed Sally’s foot. She had balked at him playing with them so intensely when he started, as she was spilled all over his body. Now she looked at him from the pillow on the couch with soft eyes as he kissed the ball of her foot, and he could tell she was not just feeling it there.

There was so much about her that he learned the more they were together. He had wanted to know more about her when he saw her at the bar, waiting for that ill-fated date that made him want to be able to approach her. She had been taken advantage of enough that night, and he was not trying to make her think he was just another guy.

He was tender with her then, and more tender with her now. But he was careful with her because there was a lot going on that she did not tell him. Sally gave him her body freely, but she was more closed with her mind. Calvin knew she had been hurt before, he knew that she had experienced great loss but he did not force her to say more. She would give him what she wanted, and he would accept everything as a gift. She was the most special woman he had been with in a long time, and he wanted to make her feel as good as he could. 

He kissed the ball of her foot, licked it and then sucked her toes watching her melt against him. A soft moan slipped from her lips, and that look. The look she gave him was worth everything to him.

 

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Retro: Reverie

One more retro post about Sally, and then we can continue the story:

Chloe took a long look at her mother. She had of course seen pictures of her mother when she was younger, her mother had always been the youngest looking mom when she was a kid. The cool one who came to pick her up to take her to fun places, but it was her grandmother who took care of her primarily.

Sally had her hair pulled up in a ponytail, and her earring piercings were empty except for pearls that she wore that emphasized her faux rockabilly look. Her mother was beautiful, there was no denying that Oscar had been smitten with her which is how she did not know how she was able to pry him from her but she had.

And now.

She needed her mother, blood was thicker than water and she needed her. Sally looked at her with a face that displayed no emotion. She had agreed to meet her, but her face was smooth as porcelain not a crease of emotion.

“Mom, I am sorry for everything. But you are my mom, and I love you and I need you.” Chloe felt weak as she looked at her mother’s still calm expression.

“I love you Chloe, you’re my daughter. I am always here. It was not so much about Oscar, but the things you said to me about not raising you and acting like you did not need me. Like you did not love me.”

“I’m sorry Mom,” Chloe cried, and she rushed to hug her mother. I’m so sorry. But I think you are right. Oscar was out of my league, I should never have gotten involved with him. I never should have done any of this because now…I am in love with someone else.”

Her mother studied her with interest now. Chloe was afraid to say anything, because even to say it was pleasure and pain.

“I am in love with Rafe Morton.”

Her mother’s eyes widened, as she stared at her.

“Then you are in for a hell of a battle with his wife,” Sally leaned back with an ironic smile. “And she pulled a knife on me once, so I would be very careful. Both Oscar and Rafe love her to death.”

Chloe swallowed, she definitely could not compete with Eliza. But she had to have Rafe, she needed him now more than ever…

She walked out of the café after talking to her mother a little longer, and got into her car. She started to text Oscar, but out of the corner of her eye she saw that her driving was texting. As she was about to tell him to stop, the car swerved and she screamed. The sound of their two phones colliding was the last sound she heard.

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Retro: Elaborate

Looking back on Sally, so you can understand why she is so haunted—another retro post about the time Eliza pulled out a knife on her…

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Can you please put the knife down?” Sallyquestioned softly, as she studied Eliza. It really was only then that Eliza realized that she was holding the knife menacingly.

“I-I had someone come into my apartment and they tried to…” Eliza began to explain.

“I know, I feel like I know everything about you because Oscar is always telling me something new about you.” Sally sighed.

Eliza shrugged, as she realized that she had drawn blood in her palm with the blade of the knife she still held in a non-threatening manner now.

“I came here to ask you,” Sally held her hands together as if in prayer. “Does he tell you so much about me?”

Laughing, Eliza tucked her hair behind her ear.

“No, because you have barely told him anything to tell me about you.”

Sally smiled ruefully.

“I am asking you not to interfere with our relationship. Your relationship with him was marred by a lot, and I love him and I want a chance—“

“To what? What do you want a chance to do? Elaborate!”

Sally sashayed before her, and Eliza watched her with incredulity.

“—to love him.” Sally finished.

Eliza was silent, to love him. She had loved Oscar, and she was not sure if that was the reason that she did not want to let go…or if she truly just could not believe that Sally would really love him.

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