F DOT LEONORA

Alessandra started blowing kisses at everyone as she left the party venue, her hand still firmly in Eliza’s. Her driver pulled up, and the two of them got in the car. 

The car did not move, which made Eliza a little uneasy, she looked out of the window and Alessandra kissed her neck. It felt nice—she liked her neck being kissed. But that was not what she wanted from her friend.

“Alessa stop,” she said, to soften her rejection. But it did not seem to change Alessandra’s mind as she placed her hands between her legs and continued to kiss her neck.

She pushed Alessandra away.

“I said stop,” she said more firmly and a very drunk Alessandra looked at her soberly.

“You don’t mean it, what about that time with Leon?” she purred. “You let me kiss you and feel you up.”

“We were drunk and playing truth or dare that was not real. That was a game.”

Alessandra’s eyes grew dark and Eliza could not tell of she was angry or sad. Maybe a combination of both, but now she looked out of the window.

“Drive Mrs. Morton home, and then me,” she said to the driver and there was a coldness in the way that she said Mrs. Morton that was chilling.

Eliza looked at Alessandra. She was beautiful, Her freshly retouched red lips and the dress she wore accentuated all of her curves, but she was a friend and she had never thought about her or any woman like that. That was not how she was wired. She was not going to have sex to experiment, she either had it for lust or love and neither was a component this evening. She stayed quiet, not wanting to rock the boat and the false sense of calm that she felt by not saying anything.

“You are a tease,” Alessandra said quietly looking at her. “I can’t discern if you are doing it on purpose, or if you have no idea. But that is what you are.” 

Eliza shook her head, but Alessandra smiled disdainfully.

“I do not sleep with women,” she said. “I never promised you anything Alessandra. “

“That is what you tell yourself, that is what you need to believe so believe it. But don’t you believe that your husband has not slept with another man. He is not a tease like you. He is a doer. Now get out of my car.”

Eliza went up to her apartment feeling weak, but she managed to get up there. 

Rafe was asleep, with Bibi on his lap. The book they were reading was on the floor and he wore his glasses letting her know they had fallen asleep reading and waiting for her. Picking up Bibi, she put her finger on her lip so an easily roused Rafe would not wake their daughter before she took her to her bed. 

She came back and took his hand.

Kissed it.

This is what she had lusted for tonight, her happiness at home with her husband and daughter.

Regardless of what Alessandra wanted, she was happy to be home.

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There was just a puddle of people left at the party. The three of them at the table: Sally, Eliza and Alessandra.

“Let’s play a game!” Alessandra suggested, and grabbed Sally’s hand. “Two truths and a lie maybe?”

Sally burst out laughing.

“What are we, children?” She said, looking at the shine in Alessandra’s eyes and her inky black hair. 

It was then that Leon walked over, even though their introduction had been brief, it had been intense. He had stared at Sally for a great deal of the evening, and when she finally lost him now he was standing in front of ner. 

“Truth or dare!” Alessandra yelled out gleefully, taking Sally and Leon’s hands. “I dare you to kiss!”

Leon smiled, and looked down at them. Sally bit her lip. She would not lie–he was very sexy. Extremely tall, dressed elegantly in a suit and drinking–savoring the same glass it seemed of magenta-colored wine for the entire night. The way he looked at her made her feel tight between her legs. He was not asking her for sex, but she knew if she engaged him it was on the table without a question.

“Alessa, stop trying to cause trouble!” He said, as Eliza pulled at the skirt of her Alessandra’s dress.

Alessandra laughed loudly and put her hand over Eliza’s.

“How else am I supposed to get a foursome started?” She asked innocently, only she could innocently ask how to get a foursome started.

At this point, Sally realized that these people might have all slept with each other. Forgetting Eliza’s polyamory–how could she have—It was very possible that Alessandra thought it was a possibility for the four of them.

“Or a fivesome?” Alessandra asked. “I forgot about Calvin.” She placed her hand over Sally’s for forgiveness.

“Alessa,” Eliza said, widening her eyes, and something passed between the two of them that Sally could not put her finger on but she knew that Eliza was serious. “She’s like this when she drinks too much,” Eliza said, and Alessandra wrapped her arms about her.

“I am drunk,” Alessandra grinned goofily.

She looked like she might be sick, and Eliza took her hand leading her to the ladies’ room.

Sally looked after them, when she stilled at the timbre of Leon’s voice.

“I did not know you were with someone,” he said looking down at her. “I told Alessa you were beautiful and she did not mention your Calvin.”

“It’s okay,” she said, and he moved closer to her. 

Sally last looked up at him, and she stepped back. He said one thing but she did not trust his dark eyes on her, like the darkness of impending precipitation.

Eliza and Alessandra came back, holding hands and the darkness of Leon swept over Sally, and she started to breath again. Calvin came out just then, and she fell into arms.

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Sally sat on the barstool; it was not often that she went out without baby Charlotte. But she had gotten closer with Eliza and Alessandra, and Alessandra decided to have a private party at Calvin’s restaurant. 

Calvin was not able to spend much time with her because he was hosting the artsy crowd. Sally focused on playing the role of secondary hostess. She was artsy herself, so it was easy for her to mix with the partygoers.

“You look amazing, Sally,” Eliza said to her.

Maybe it was because Eliza was already a mother, but it made Sally feel good to have her tell her she was doing the right things with Charlotte and that she looked good. Alessandra reiterated everything that Eliza said, so Sally felt good even though she did not look like she had looked before she had Charlotte. Calvin told her how good she looked and how there were differences about her that he liked since she had Charlotte. She was not vain, but she liked to hear that she looked good after giving birth.

Eliza and Alessandra stepped away to talk to a woman who had just walked in, and Sally picked up her drink.

“What are you drinking?” Sally looked up at the man, who looked down at her with a matching glass of red wine while popping a marinated olive into his mouth.

“Not sure, the bartender surprised me,” Sally grinned. Eliza and Alessandra walked back over to her with smiles on their faces. 

“Leon, let me introduce you to Sally, Sally this is Leon. He has been dying to meet you all night,” Alessandra said and gave a knowing glance to Eliza. 

Eliza shot a look at Sally.

“Cheers, Sally,” Leon said, raising his glass. The way he looked at all of them was like she on fire, she wanted to know what the secret was between the three of them. Leon gave her a long look before he walked away from her.

“So is my bra showing? What the hell was between with the three of you?” Sally asked, and Calvin walked over just then.

“Can’t tell you in front of your baby daddy,” Alessandra giggled.

“What? Calvin and I have no secrets,” Sally said, and he put his arms about her. His arms grazed her breasts which he said he loved and were more sensitive since she gave birth.

“Leon just totally wanted to fuck you,” Alessandra said, and Eliza rolled her eyes.

“Fuck me?” Sally asked and looked up at Calvin. “This man walked over, and he asked me what I was drinking. Then Alessandra came over to cause trouble.”

“You’re a total MILF,” Alessandra said. “Total MILF!”

“Well, I like to fuck her, and this guy better not have even thought what you are saying, Alessandra, because Sally is mine.”

Salle pressed her back to him, and he pulled her closer. They stood close like some sort of live sculpture installation in the middle of the party. Leon was several people away, but Sally could still feel his eyes on her, and she froze.

She did not want anyone to interfere with her family.

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Charlotte’s mouth intrigued Sally. Her baby daughter would suction her skin with her little mouth as she had no teeth yet, but she sucked so hard. And then her toothless smile, Charlotte was a happy baby. Sally felt happier with Charlotte than she had with Chloe because she knew what to do with her, and because she was able to spend time with her. She was not a teenager like she had been with her eldest, she was a mature woman who had time to spend with her child. Sometimes she would lie on her side on the bed, and place Charlotte on her belly. Charlotte would look at her with her open mouth and soundless laugh as she adjusted to being on her tummy.

Charlotte looked like her much like Chloe had, but she looked a little like her father too. 

Being with Calvin was precious to Sally as well. She had not been with Chloe’s father like this. But she and Calvin were raising Charlotte together. Sally stayed home with the baby, and Calvin extended the hours of his restaurant. But when he came home he wanted to hold Charlotte in his arms.

He was happy to hold Charlotte for the longest time when he came home. Charlotte was his first child, and he was completely in love with her. Sally sometimes fell asleep after he came in, lulled by watching him with their daughter. 

Charlotte Claudelle Garner.

Eliza brought Bibi over. Bibi was older than Charlotte, but she played with her like her best babydoll. Having a new baby and being parents of little girls was the glue that she and Eliza needed to mend their rapport. Sally was so happy to be a mother again, and to have a baby daughter to hold.

Again.

“You are a beautiful mother,” Oscar said to her, and holding her precious little girl Sally felt the tears fall…

Happiness.

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“There is something different about you,” Calvin said as he kissed Sally’s breasts and nipples. She moaned because it felt good, and she liked having her breasts touched but they were a little sore. They had been sore when she was pregnant with Chloe too. Sally winced a bit when he touched her and he pulled away. “Did I pinch too hard?”

“No,” she smiled taking his hand. “They are just a little sore.”

“And bigger,” he said lying on his side, looking at her. “I like it. You…you got nauseous while I was cooking your favorite meal tonight and you have not gotten your period for awhile. Do you think you might be pregnant?” Sally stared at him with wide eyes, and he looked anxious. “I know that you were pregnant before so you would know how you felt but I feel like it is a possibility.”

“I just wanted to make love with you, and be close to you before I told you that I was pregnant. I was so nervous to tell you because we have not been together that long … I was not sure…”

He kissed her and avoided her breasts. But he caressed her stomach, and she kissed his neck.

“I love you,” he said. “I love you and our baby.”

“I love the baby too, I was scared and I was thinking that I would not have it. But I didn’t want to lose a part of you. I wanted the baby no matter what.”

“Did you think I was not going to want to be a part of my baby’s life? That I was not going to want to be with you?” Calvin looked stern, but she could tell it was just because he was hurt and probably blamed himself.

“Chloe’s dad and I–”

“I am not Chloe’s dad.”

“I know that, but it is hard for me to let go of the past. You know this.”

“I know because you are still here and we are going to have a baby.”

Sally started to cry, and she could not believe how transparent her situation was. After she saw Eliza and Bibi, Eliza asked her if she was pregnant. She did not even want to pretend that she was not because she was feeling so vulnerable at the time.

“I just can tell. Especially after I had Bibi? I can just tell from really early on,” Eliza confessed.

Yes,” Sally admitted looking at Bibi. “I am pregnant. Maybe this time I will be a better mother.”

“You were the best mother you could be and you loved Chloe. You will love the new baby.”
Sally nodded, she was nodding as she cried and Calvin held her in his arms and kissed her temple over and over.

“I love you and our baby,” he said over and over to her like a mantra.

She fell asleep in his arms, and she dreamt about a bouquet of flowers that she caught at a disembodied wedding. Calvin was the groom and she was the bride, but she was still catching the bouquet.

The bouquet maybe represented the baby?

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Sally loved the creative part of her job, but sitting on Calvin’s couch with her MacBook on her lap she was not thinking about her work. She was thinking that she loved him, and she wanted to say it in a creative way but she was going to settle for right now.

He was in the kitchen with an apron about this waist and he looked so serious. He was serious about food preparation, she learned that at his bar and in his home. The apartment always smelled unbelievable from his culinary inventions, and needless to say, there was always a wine that blew her mind. She had just put down a glass from almost before she was born. He was not so precious about wine that he would not savor something priceless every now and then.

She stood in front of him, and thought to herself there she was in her sweatpants, no makeup, and her hair tangled. What did she look like to him in front of him like that? 

His silent answer was to rim the band of her sweats with his fingers and use the elastic to pull her pelvis close to him. He kissed her neck and slipped his whole hand into the front of her sweatpants. Sally moved against his fingers until he rubbed the wet core of her. A physical and emotional flood washed over her, and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

“I love you,” she said and watched his face to see what he was thinking.

“I know,” he said and nuzzled her. “I knew when you did not tell me you loved me, that you loved me.”

She nodded because he was right. She could smell her scent on his fingers when he hugged her, and she could smell her love right song with it. She had told him that she loved him because she could not keep it inside a moment longer, it scared and thrilled her. Being close to him though made her happier than she had been in a very long time, and if it was temporary it could burst at some point if it had to. But being in their bubble now was all that mattered.

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“I need you to tell me what you want Sally, I have been super patient with you and I want to know what you want from this,” Calvin said, as he poured more red wine for her. A red blend that she was not sure what grapes were in it, but she knew she liked the combination.

It felt like deja vu to her, as she looked at him from across the counter of the bar. The same place where they had met, and she had waited for him to take her home after his shift. She looked at him as she took a sip from her wine glass.

“What if I do not know what I want?” she posed the question and hoped she did not peak his ire.

Calvin stared at her.

“I do not believe that you do not know what you want.”

Sally looked at him with wide eyes, he knew she was lying but she did not want to tell him what she wanted. She did not know if she had a right to say what she wanted. 

She caressed her glass of wine, and he watched her. He would not stop staring at her, and that unsettled her. He knew that she wanted him, how could he not? The way she surrendered to him over and over again. Their passion was like nothing she had ever experienced before, because there was nothing she was hiding or pretending. Oscar was the only other person she had given so much to, but there had been more barriers between them than she wanted to acknowledge.

She looked at Calvin, and he looked away.

The night wound down, she stayed in front of him all night barely touching her wine but he placed a bottle by her glass. She got up when he was starting to clean up, and he stopped her when she came around the bar. She looked hurt.

“Can’t you tell how I feel?” she pleaded.

Calving looked down at her,

“Maybe I need to hear as well sometimes, maybe I need to hear how you feel Sally. Because I love you, and you know that I love you.”

“You never said you loved me before,” she said, and her lip trembled as her eyes watered. “Why do you love me?” 

He kissed her so thoroughly that her mouth was swollen with his kiss when he finally relented. She looked up at him.

“Because I don’t know how to stop…”

“I can’t tell you I love you, because I have lost everything I loved…” Sally looked up at him, and he kissed her tears.

“You’ll never lose me.”

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