Belonging

Alessandra threw the last of their belongings into the back of Leon’s truck. Half of the reason why she agreed to go with him was that he offered to drive her to the woods. He closed the truck and looked down at her with a soft smile. What had happened between them made everything so different, and changed the way she looked at everything around her.

She had come here in a very dark place. Seeing Oscar and Eliza together had been very rough for her. Her breakup with Oscar had been amicable enough, it was clear that he could not possibly love her as much as he loved Eliza. And seeing Eliza be with everyone around her and deny her was torturous. She got it that she was not into women, but there was something about the dynamic of their relationship and her rebuff that really hurt her. Everything Alessandra posted online recently had been reflective of that — intentionally or not. But what she saw here, what was so clear with her looking up at Leon looking down at her haloed by the sun was that in her darkest moment she wanted to be with him.

She felt safe with him, she felt safe to be around him because she knew he would not judge her for being herself. Alessandra knew she was complicated she was every cliche of an artist, but she also deserved to be loved and she wanted to love. 

It just never worked out for her.

“Sometimes I think I can see your brain moving on its axis,” he smiled and kissed her forehead. She flushed because it was such a sweet tender kiss and nothing like the kisses they had shared for the duration of their trip, but it was so heartfelt she almost could not bear it.

Almost could not bear him.

Leon had his own crosses to bear, but he was the kindest most thoughtful man she knew and with a heart so big.

She stood on tiptoes and he hugged her, bringing her close to his body like he was afraid he would lose her if her let her go. Like a butterfly captured would flitter away. 

Alessandra did not want to be released, she belonged here.

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