Thanks to my soul sister, Leonora (who I refer to as f-dot in my head), for giving me space to ramble about something that’s been on my mind for a while.
Why don’t we talk about masturbation more often? Most of us do it – and frequently. We’ve got toys for it. There’s an entire month to celebrate it (May is Masturbation Month, if you hadn’t heard). I know erotic authors who can write the most hard core, dirtiest, kinkiest, questionable consent story but get a little weirded out when writing about masturbation. Some people don’t even want to say the word! (Okay, I kind of can’t blame anyone for that – it’s kind of a weird word and doesn’t exactly make you think of moaning or screaming orgasms and sexual pleasure.)
Should we introduce ourselves to new people by saying, “Hi, I’m Kayla, and I masturbated before work today”? Probably not. Especially if you’re shaking hands. Awwwwk-waaaard.
But in the online world where many of us have fake accounts and pseudonyms, and we talk about how we want to fuck and be fucked – we don’t talk about masturbation. I say no more!
We need to celebrate masturbation! Flaunt it! Revel in our ability to find pleasure with our hand and maybe a toy.
It’s not cheating when you’re in a relationship. It’s also not gross, yuck, or a “betrayal” as I once heard it referred to. Masturbation is natural and healthy.
Think of all the lies we were told about masturbation back in the day – hairy palms, blindness, no one does it. Fuck that! Everyone does it. And until we admit we masturbate and celebrate it a little more, we’re all going to hide our vibrators or Fleshlights (for the penis-havers out there) like they’re a dirty secret.
I say, “No more! I’m not afraid!”
My name is Kayla Lords, and I love to masturbate. I make myself come so fucking good the neighbors need a smoke when I’m done. I have too many sex toys and not enough cords or batteries, and I like it that way! Except I wish I had more batteries!
Not ready to make that declaration? That’s okay. Stick around with Leonora and I long enough, and you will.
If you want to celebrate masturbation with me a little more, join me and my smutty writer friends over at Masturbation Monday each week. The stories are either all about masturbation or so hot you’ll want to touch yourself, so either way, you win! Visit in May, and you can enter weekly giveaways for sex toys to make your next wank even more exciting.