Dear God, make me disappear, MAKE ME, Eliza thought as she saw that Oscar saw her after he walked into the bar. She was not sure how to respond, but when he smiled so did she. She looked at Marcus who was staring at her.
“Do you want to leave?” he whispered in her ear.
She knew that Marcus would not necessarily know why she wanted to leave, but she was so thankful that he took her hand when he asked. She smiled, and nodded.
When she met Oscar that first time, he bragged about not being married. Now he was all loved up with Polly, and the pain that she had been feeling about him before was fading. Marcus opened the car door for her, and she sat beside him.
“Where do you want to go?”
“Anywhere that is not here,” she stated listlessly.
She heard him tell the driver to drive them around. Eliza was silent as the car moved, she looked out at the scenic route that the driver chose.
“Who was the guy in the bar?”
“Former lover,” she turned to look at him. “I came here tonight to be with you, and it has been about Sandrine, about Rafe, about Oscar…”
“You are with me,” he said, squeezing her hand. “I’m here.”
“I know.”
She put her head on his shoulder, wondering if everything that had happened so far were signs that she should not proceed any further with Marcus. All of her previous relationships she had had she had just jumped into, and she was no happier for any of them. Even being engaged to Rafe was painful today.
Marcus caressed the length of her arm, and pulled her closer to him. When his fingers trickled over her breast, she looked up at him and he kissed her. Eliza caressed his chest, and went to kiss him. He caressed her lips with his fingers.
“I am not going anywhere, I told you I want you to burn with desire for me. You are not burning tonight.”
She snuggled more into his chest.
“Let’s go to your place. I can’t see Rafe tonight.”
Eliza had been at Marcus and Sandrine’s place so much, that she knew her way around it like it was her own place. She was in the bathroom about to take a bath, when her phone rang. Assuming it was Rafe, she almost did not answer it until she saw the caller ID reflected in the bathroom mirror.
“Hello?” she said, stepping into the fragrant rosewater.
“You could have come over to the table Eliza, you know that I told Polly.”
“I know. You don’t know Marcus, and I was not in the mood to be a hostess tonight.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Why do you care so much Oscar? I know that we smoothed everything out when you texted me that you told Polly, but what more do you want from me?”
“I care about you Eliza.”
“I care about you, and I am trying to care about you and support your new relationship.”
“Thank you.”
“I am getting ready to go to bed. I am not home, I’ll talk to you or text you…”
She hung up the phone, and got comfortable in the rosewater bath.
It was not until much later when she was was carried away from the tub–she must have fallen asleep–by Marcus. Her fingertips and toes felt like prunes when she rubbed them. He dried her, and dressed her for bed. When he got in beside her, her body was aroused from the bath. But she knew that he was going to make her wait. It almost seemed like the right thing for him to make her wait. But she wanted him, she wanted to scream at him,
“Make me, make me yours.”
But all she did was fall asleep in the spoon of him, and wish that God would promise her a better tomorrow.
And clarity.
More Wicked Wednesday here:
rose bath via christinechitnis.com
That was lovely and so emotionally complicated. I love Eliza and what she’s going through. Just beautiful, F. xxx
thank you, i love that you are enjoying reading about her experience! xxx
You capture her emotional struggle so beautifully! I look forward to see what the next day brings her.
Rebel xox
thank you, you “make me” do that! xxx