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Leon’s sudden promotion from friend to boyfriend had been a surprise to Alessandra.They had been living in a bubble with their relationship since they went upstate, and now they were on display for the first time. The gallery opening was their first formal event.

Looks of surprise did not go unnoticed from people like Rabekkah who definitely was stunned because before being a couple they almost gave off a brother and sister vibe. They would even set each other up with other people—as he had done for Rabekkah and her.

But squeezing his hand and looking up at him, Alessandra felt more secure about being with him than she had any of the previous people she had been with lately. She knew he loved her and she loved him. They came together as a couple already loving each other and now they were in a deeply loving relationship which made her feel like she was on top of the world. But she was uneasy on the top of that very world as she looked as if down on her most recent lovers…well people she was in some sort of love with attending this opening.

As she walked toward Eliza, Rafe and Oscar, she steadied herself. Oscar looked at her with that deer caught in the headlights look that he always gave her after they broke up, but he was not her focus. She looked at Eliza, who looked frozen in her beauty beside her husband Rafe, who looked at her and Leon.

“Eliza,” Leon said, breaking the silence and Alessandra breathed a sigh of relief. His voice made her feel relaxed and she squeezed his hand.

“Leon,” Eliza answered, as he moved to kiss her cheeks.

Leon nodded to Rafe, and Alessandra held his hand tighter pressing her face to his chest. He made her feel so safe and protected. All of the obsessive emotions she had felt before were not there. She was just so happy with Leon and the feelings he made her feel that she had never felt before in such an acute way.

They walked past everyone to the very back where they were alone. In the darkness she felt his hands touch her everywhere, and Alessandra wanted to be dominated by him all the more.

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Leon was overwhelmed by Alessandra. He did not understand how a woman like her did not understand how amazing she was. Everything she touched turned to gold. As he walked with her, everyone looked at her like she was a goddess. Her long, dark hair was out and she wore a short black jumpsuit that was a glamorized version of the clothes that she wore when she was posting on Instagram days before. He had accompanied her before to gallery openings, but this time they were together and it was a very different situation for him.

It felt different to be together, to be there with her. She held his hand tightly, and he held hers equally as tightly because she was wearing heels that he was not even sure how she walked with them because they were so high. But he knew that even if he was not there she was going to be able to walk and not lose her balance.

She would strut.

People walked up to her and even tried to touch her and she was indifferent to it all.

He never let her hand go, but he did want people to look at him while he was with her. He was with Alessandra Wagnall–he wanted her to be the star. 

And she was. 

When they got to the gallery, he did cringe a bit when he saw Rabekkah. He had set them up just months ago, and now he was with Alessa himself. It was awkward, but it was what was going to be if he was with her.

Rabekkah was classy and stamped their hands for admittance and the after-party like the professional she was. She looked at Leon for a long moment and then offered a soft smile.

But it was later when he saw Eliza that he froze. Alessa was harder to read as usual. Nothing ever showed on her face, the greatest poker face of them all except when Eliza had broken her heart. However, she looked remarkably calm and collected as they walked toward Eliza and Rafe.

And Oscar.

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“I think Alessandra is your spirit animal,” Rafe said as he poured vermouth into their mason jars, and Eliza stared at him agape.

“What are you even saying?” she said, taking a sip of the vermouth and taking in its herbaceousness. 

Her husband looked at her, taking off his apron.

“I mean, I think she is something that you want to be. Something about her that you admire, and that is why you are so obsessed with her.”

“I am not obsessed with Alessandra!” she denied as she looked at him, finally closing her mouth. “I have been through a lot with her and more than I should have been through for someone who is just a friend, don’t you think so?”

“I do think so, Eliza, but that does not mean that you do not admire her. From the time she got involved with Oscar, you were jealous of her, and then you friended her, then you wanted her–”

“I never wanted her Rafe, let’s be very clear about that.”

He sighed.

“Look, all I know is there is something deeper here, and I am not sure what it is.”

“I know,” Eliza finally conceded. “I know that there is something deeper here, and I am not sure what it is either.” Rafe took a sip of his own vermouth, and then he kissed her forehead. Eliza put her arms around him. “I do not know what it is about her, but she just got to me, you know?”

“Yes,” he agreed. “I know.”

“I am actually glad she is with Leon. Going to shows and seeing her was a lot to contend with because she is not a small shot in the art world, and we were so close at one point…”

Eliza remembered Alessandra seeing her get involved with Emmanuel, and she knew at that point that Alessa knew something about her that she did not know about herself. She knew her too well, and that was what made her so close to her because she felt like she knew her like she was like her. She was more animal with Alessa than she had been before her, and she had never done some of the things that she did with her with anyone else. Not being friends with her anymore meant that someone knew who she really was who could use that against her, and it made her feel small. 

She thought that she had made the most profound human connection with someone that was now not a part of her life. Who else would she be that person with? Was she even herself with Alessa? Rafe was her husband, and that was a deep but different kind of connection. Jeanne was her sister, but that was something different too. Oscar was her lover. Bibi was her daughter. But Alessa had been her mirror.

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“You are too worried about this Eliza,” Oscar said as he put his hand around her wrist gently and she looked up at him from her phone.

His eyes were soft as he looked at her but serious.

There were new pictures of Alessandra and who Eliza knew was Leon together on Instagram. She knew his profile because they had all been intimate at one point kissing over his dick in a soft-core threesome. One of the things that probably made Alessa think there was more between them. But there was not a close-up of Leon, and Eliza could only think that Leon would not have wanted to be in the pictures and that it was Alessa’s show — her social media.

Leon was a gentleman if nothing else, Eliza had always thought there was something about them, He was always there for Alessa. He was one of the few people that Alessandra could be intimate with and then still be around all of the time. She must have loved him, and the way she was looking at him on her Instagram. Kissing his hand like she had kissed his dick. The way she looked up at him and he held her intimately. It looked like the picture version of an adolescent girl’s Dear Diary entry.

Except it was visual.

Leon was handsome, but the way Alessa took pictures of him he looked almost godlike. One picture of his mouth was so obscene. The close-up smile on his face looked obscene with happiness, Eliza wondered how they had gotten so close so quickly when she was doing so many tortured artist pictures previously.

“You called me over to look at her Instagrm because you thought she was posting disturbing things, now you are mad because it looks like she is on love?”

“You’ve seen her and Leon together–where did that come from? It feels like she is just fucking with us…”

Eliza ran a manicured finger over the screen, and Oscar picked up her hand and kissed it.

“Fucking with us, or with you?”

She stared at him, her mouth open.

“Eliza, Alessandra is not worried about me anymore that is for sure. She was infatuated with you when she was with me. I used to tease her that she was only with me to meet you.”

“She said the same thing about you. That she left you because you were still in love with me.”

“When have I been out of love with you Eliza?”

She put her phone down, when he leaned in to kiss her. His mouth warm, a weapon to induce desire. The first time he kissed her, she was never the same after.

“Smile at me the way that Leon smiled at Alessa…” he said.

How could she smile at him when he was kissing her so thoroughly?

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Alessandra threw the last of their belongings into the back of Leon’s truck. Half of the reason why she agreed to go with him was that he offered to drive her to the woods. He closed the truck and looked down at her with a soft smile. What had happened between them made everything so different, and changed the way she looked at everything around her.

She had come here in a very dark place. Seeing Oscar and Eliza together had been very rough for her. Her breakup with Oscar had been amicable enough, it was clear that he could not possibly love her as much as he loved Eliza. And seeing Eliza be with everyone around her and deny her was torturous. She got it that she was not into women, but there was something about the dynamic of their relationship and her rebuff that really hurt her. Everything Alessandra posted online recently had been reflective of that — intentionally or not. But what she saw here, what was so clear with her looking up at Leon looking down at her haloed by the sun was that in her darkest moment she wanted to be with him.

She felt safe with him, she felt safe to be around him because she knew he would not judge her for being herself. Alessandra knew she was complicated she was every cliche of an artist, but she also deserved to be loved and she wanted to love. 

It just never worked out for her.

“Sometimes I think I can see your brain moving on its axis,” he smiled and kissed her forehead. She flushed because it was such a sweet tender kiss and nothing like the kisses they had shared for the duration of their trip, but it was so heartfelt she almost could not bear it.

Almost could not bear him.

Leon had his own crosses to bear, but he was the kindest most thoughtful man she knew and with a heart so big.

She stood on tiptoes and he hugged her, bringing her close to his body like he was afraid he would lose her if her let her go. Like a butterfly captured would flitter away. 

Alessandra did not want to be released, she belonged here.

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Alessandra needed to clear her head. Her life was the stuff that artists live for–her distress and agony fueled her work. But it was too much at this point. She needed a detox and decided she needed nature. 

The wilderness.

When she met Oscar, there had been chemistry and they had both been into it not far into their association. He had mentioned Eliza, and it was clear that she had a substantial impact on him. Meeting Eliza seemed like it was going to be more of a thing than meeting his family would have been had she ever gotten to meet them.

Once Oscar told her he was polyamorous–but only with Eliza–she felt a little more comfortable because she had always been polyamorous not always ethically though. How she morphed from being with Oscar to wanting to be with Eliza she did not know, but seeing them together in the hospital stung.

Leon caught up to her presently in the woods. He had demanded he come to the woods with her because he knew she was heartbroken and he didn’t want her to be alone. She loved him, their history was storied as they had both been sluts together and separately but always loved each other. They had had sex solo before as well, but it was always part of something else. 

He was heartbroken too because he had wanted to be with Sally, but she was not interested. He tried to lure her as a friend but much like Eliza, she was not drawn to him.

When he took her hand, Alessandra was happy and squeezed his hand.

“Thanks for coming with me,” she said and he grabbed her butt affectionately. But this time when he did, she felt something she never had before. Leon was very tall and lean, this time when she looked up at him and he smiled down at her she felt soft. She put her hand on his chest and he studied her carefully.

“Of course Alessa, I love you.”

Her hand traveled up his chest and he took her hand in his. They stood frozen for a moment before their lips joined and created a gentle heat between them. Now he grabbed her ass, but it was to caress it and touch the edge of her cheek just out of the edge of her micro shorts. Alessandra was breathless and panting as he pulled her up against him so she could feel every bit of his frame.

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Eliza owed nothing to Alessandra. When she and Oscar walked back into her hospital room together, Alessandra’s indictment was glaring but it did not mean anything. Clearly, she and Alessandra were not going to be able to resurrect their relationship, but they had tried at least. 

She and Oscar left Alessandra in her hospital bed because there was nothing to say to her and if she could look that belligerent it was obvious she was doing better then when she had passed out. Oscar took her hand and kissed her temple before he left and Alessandra sat there kind of frozen with her hand stuck in the position he had kissed it in.

Eliza did not say a word to Alessa when she left, but it was the digital trail that followed her that let her know that Alessandra needed to have the last word. Whether it was her social media which was not even directed at her or shots from her studio where she was working, Eliza knew that everything was a message to her and Oscar.

Nothing was said directly @ either of them, but her cryptic tweets and dark images that she was working on which were not at all congruent with what she had been originally working on were clear to Eliza if no one else that she was angry and hurt.

Alessandra Wagnall had a following, and the things that she said and did were scrutinized by her followers who tracked her images in the media and speculated. Eliza herself had been noted as a particularly close gal pal of Alessandra’s and she wondered if that was what had caused Alessandra to feel the way she did. Maybe the media made her think she loved her?

Of course, she knew that was not true, but it kind of felt like it could have been nurtured whatever was there. The digital world was a hotbed for anything under the universe. Eliza did not even like social media herself, but she had been more drawn into it because it was everywhere and because she wanted to know if Alessandra would go any deeper. On Instagram, her current work was getting likes in the thousands. 

Alessandra’s most recent photo was of herself in micro shorts and her hair covering her upper torso more than her blouse almost. She looked reminiscent of Jackson Pollock straddling her own canvas on the ground. Her dark hair almost touching the canvas. Eliza’s fingers hovered over the likes for the post which said simply, “No More Words.”

She was beautiful, and Eliza clicked away from the site because she was stalking Alessandra almost as much as Alessandra had been stalking her.

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Alessandra woke up, and she was immediately unsettled because she had dreamt about Eliza. It was not the first time she dreamt about her, but this time it was deeply intimate even though they had not had sex. Alessandra had been close to her as a lady in waiting in medieval times and she had told her that she loved her. Eliza told her that she loved her too but it was not convenient.

Now on her side and sweaty, Alessandra wondered if that was why Eliza did not want to be with her? That she had some medieval construct about love and what she was supposed to want? There was no way that they could have been as close as they had been, and she was the only one who came out of it being in love she felt. They were always together at one point, how could it have just been her?

That morning, she texted Eliza. She wondered if she would respond back and she did. They agreed to meet at a cafe near Eliza’s.

Seeing Eliza sitting at the table with her long, dark hair sipping from a large cup made Alessandra tear up. The disappointment from the rejection was too much to bear and it was interfering with her life. Rabekkah refused to speak to her once she realized it was Eliza who had spurned her, and now here she was watery-eyed and looking longingly at this woman whose love she could not attain.

“Used to be so commonplace for us to meet up like this,” she said with a bitter smile. “Or at each other’s place.”

“Indeed until you kicked me out of your car that night and said my husband was dishonest to me.”

Alessandra rolled her eyes, it had not been her best night.

“I was upset.”

“Yes, I learned that.”

Suddenly, Alessandra turned on her heel, she had to go.

And then everything went black.

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