Sooooo happy to have my friend, fellow Chemical Sex author (and chocolate lover!) C. E. Hansen on my blog today!!! She is a fantastic writer with an amazing new book, Where I Found My Heart. And she is generous too! She gave me not one, not two, but THREE excerpts from the book to share with you! Enjoy!
Blurb
Reny unable to face life head on, effectively shut out the world beyond her windows. Closing off anything that would remind her of her past – a smile, a laugh, a touch. She lived in a world of pain and sorrow, remaining safe in her cocoon, barely existing.
Libby was plagued by a desperate need to comfort Reny, needing to help her heal. Knowing without Reny’s recovery, she herself would not find peace.
Mark was searching for someone, he didn’t know who, but felt a strong need, a determination to keep looking…he had to find her.
Three people…three worlds collide, leaving behind the true path to happiness. Maybe you just have to say goodbye before you can say hello…
Excerpts
I learned real fast the pain is mine. All mine and will stay with me, whether I want it to or not. And no one, and I mean, no one, will or could ‘shoulder’ it at anytime. It’s mine. I paid for it and I own it.
I’m okay with owning it. What I’m not okay with is why.
Why did it have to be Dylan?
Why couldn’t it have been someone else, anyone, even one of those who wanted to shoulder it? One of those assholes who pretended to be heroes.
You don’t know how many times I wanted to say ‘You know…that’s a good idea. I wish you could take the pain. I wish you were dead instead of him.’ But those words never left the tip of my tongue. Instead they stayed there, lingering, turning sour like bile in the back of my throat. Simmering into a stew of malevolence until I had nothing nice to say to anyone…about anything.
Damn you Dylan. Why did you leave me?
I swiped at my tears. Still amazed I had any left after so many countless swipes.
“I’m so tired Dylan.” My words drifted up into the ether.
I left the half drank coffee cup on the table, stood and before I knew it, I was back in bed, under the blanket wishing I could fade away, disappear into sleep.
I rolled over and my eyes immediately fixated on the pill bottle prominently standing on the surface of nightstand and right next to it a gold band.
“Fuck you.”
They both had a power over me. I needed them to remind me of what I was, who I was. Those little blue pills were the only thing I had that could dull the ache. Lessen the emptiness, and the band…well, that’s why I needed the little blue pills.
*****
He traced the bottom of my bra with his fingers until he got to the center. Then he slowly—achingly slow—walked them up until he reached my nipples, which were tightening into oversensitive nubs.
I took a deep breath, trying hard to get air into my lungs so my head would stop spinning.
“Jesus Dylan.”
He pulled me back to him, until my body was against his and I could feel him conform to me.
His body actually molded to mine.
It was hot as hell.
He was hot as hell.
It was like we were one. I really think sometimes we were.
“No, just Dylan. Or sugar lips, or honey pie.”
I laughed out loud.
“You are so corny sometimes. You sound like a character in Gone with the Wind or something.”
“I do, don’t I?”
He cupped my breasts, and I immediately put down the spoon I was stirring the sauce with, and turned around to face him.
His eyes literally twinkled and I almost lost it. His amazing, light hazel orbs with the golden specks surrounded by thick dark lashes were my undoing. No. Actually, it was that damned smile of his. Gut punched me every time he used it. And he used it a lot.
“I think you need a break.”
“Oh, do I?”
“Yeah, you been slaving over that stove for um…” He overzealously looked at his watch, “twenty minutes now. I think you deserve a break.”
“Mmmm. I think you’re right.”
******
“Babe?”
“Yeah?”
“Can you do that thing you do?”
I smiled. I was pretty sure I knew what he was referring to, but I was going to make him say it.
“What thing is that exactly?”
“You know.”
“No. I do a lot of things. Which ‘thing’ are you referring to?”
“The one where you put your mouth…”
I blushed. Yes, I still blush, but quickly recovered.
“Oh that thing.” I smiled.
Before he could ask again I scooted down to the end of the sofa and unzipped his jeans. He was musky from working out in the sun all day, but it was sexy. You know? It was sexy. It was Dylan and I’d take him any way I could get him.
He quickly stopped me from lowering his jeans, but moaned. I felt his erection under my fingers.
“Why are you stopping me?”
“I need to shower for that ‘thing’”
“Then what ‘thing’ did you mean exactly?”
“The thing where you lay on top of me and let me hold you close.”
“Oh, that thing.” I was as confused as you are now. I crawled back up his muscular body and lay my body over his. He crushed me to him with his strong arms and I sighed. I felt him kiss the top of my head and inhale deeply.
“Love the way you smell.”
“Good.”
He squeezed me.
“Love the way you feel.”
“Mmmm.” I was liking this.
“Love the way you feel against me.”
“Me too.”
I listened to his chest and heard his heart beat quicken. But not soon enough…and I wasn’t prepared. In one smooth move, he stood up, tossed me over his shoulder like I was a sack of potatoes, and walked with me squirming into the bedroom, then through to the bathroom. He leaned inside and turned the water on. All the while I’m flailing and yelling. Then he carried me, fully dressed—so was he—into our large shower and let the water cascade over both of us. I screamed then laughed so loud I was afraid I woke the dead.
“Dylan!”
He laughed, as only he could, and believe me, it was contagious.
“Oh, you!” I cried out in feigned indignity.
“You got me thinking.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Bout what?”
“Bout your offer.”
“What offer…” Oh, I got it. “And you thought you’d bring me in the shower with you so I can do what I offered.”
“Figured I’d kill two birds.”
“Oh, and how did you figure that?”
“I figured I’d help you with the laundry too.”
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