Author Archives: F DOT LEONORA

Guest Blogger Emmanuelle de Maupassant Defines the Erotic Edge

I am very pleased to have Emmanuelle de Maupassant as my guest today. She is a true connoisseur of the erotic genre, and is not afraid to explore its dark side. It seemed only appropriate on the eve of Halloween, to explore the raw and forbidden aspects of erotica with her!

‘I am a forest, and a night of dark trees.’ 

― Friedrich Nietzsche 

I am a different person by night.

Velvet-wrapped in my shadow-self, I have license to breathe more deeply.

Whatever your heart and soul craves may be subdued but it can never be put aside. Vital appetites do not abate.

Perhaps, what you thirst for is not the reflection in the mirror but something beyond and behind, only visible when there is no light: a realisation of your darker self.

Taking pleasure in thoughts of revenge, debasement, danger, fear, pain and violence, is this my ‘real’ self?

It is, although other selves exist too. They have the daylight.

All are mine: dark and light.

As Jung said: ‘How can I be substantial if I do not cast a shadow? I must have a dark side also if I am to be whole.’

My self beyond the mirror desires what cannot be spoken, and what cannot be attained. This ache may be soothed but it cannot be satisfied. Whatever I imagine, it will never be enough, for my desire is always to want more: to grasp at what is out of reach.

‘I am terrified by this dark thing

That sleeps in me;

All day I feel its soft, feathery turnings, its malignity.’

― Sylvia Plath

I walk a balancing act between light and shade, between my ‘civilised’ self and that which flickers and dissolves at the edges.

In Joseph Kessel’s Belle de Jour (1928), Séverine knows well that her indulgence of her ‘dark’ self – which wishes to lose its conventional, public identity and surrender only to desire and sensation, without thought of consequences – endangers her ‘social’ self.

Belle de Jour film poster

The story is best known through Catherine Deneuve’s portrayal of the icily beautiful housewife, in Luis Bunuel’s film (1967). Compelled by desires she cannot articulate, let alone share with her husband, Pierre, she is drawn into an alternate sexual world, choosing to spend each afternoon working at a brothel.

The greater her revulsion with her clients, the greater her satisfaction, yet she seeks continually, without finding true fulfillment. She experiences little ‘conscious’ choice, driven almost mad by her need to act out fantasies of masochism and debasement: to be forcefully subdued, to ‘lose’ her usual sense of self.

Her desires make no sense to her; she only knows that she must serve them.

The story’s complexity lies not especially in her compulsions but in her knowledge that they are incompatible with her ‘other life’ and her love for Pierre. For him to discover the truth is inconceivable. She sends one of her lovers, Marcel, to murder the man she thinks will betray her and it is upon this moment that Fate twists the course of the story, turning the blade towards Pierre.

The shock of almost losing him drives Séverine to renounce her sexual yearnings and devote herself to the long-term care of her terribly injured husband.

The final tragedy is that her desire, and her shame, live on sufficiently to drive her to confess all and, in so doing, bring to pass the very reaction she most feared: Pierre’s revulsion and his repudiation of her. In the closing lines of the story, we are told that he refuses ever after to speak to her.

Stanley Kubrick’s film Eyes Wide Shut, based on Arthur Schnitzler’s Dream Story, also examines ‘unbridled’ desires, including concealment of the truth and feelings of guilt. A woman tormented by relentless dark fantasies involving a man she encounters briefly, reveals the details to her husband: a scene intimately constructed in the film, whereby Nicole Kidman whispers her confession of her ‘raw self’ to Tom Cruise.

Eyes Wide Shut - promotional film poster

Aroused and resentful, he allows himself his own act of transgression by entering a twilight world: attending a secret, orgiastic gathering, at which he is an intruder. It is for this segment that the film is best known: its glitteringly dark, dream-like depiction of a sinister, masquerade sex party. Much is left unexplained, elevating the sense of danger.

What these books (and the resulting films) share is their portrayal of the lure of the forbidden. However much we experience and possess and taste, it is never quite enough, because our imagination always craves more.

We feel, almost instinctively, the seduction of what lies on the darker side of the mirror, where the norms of social behaviour no longer apply.

George Bataille (in Guilty) wrote: ‘Eroticism is the brink of the abyss. We’re brought to the edge by uncontrolled ecstasy. This is the stage of rupture, of letting go of things.’

Similarly, he said: ‘The need to go astray, to be destroyed, is an extremely private, distant, passionate, turbulent truth.’

And here it is. In fiction, we seek both to ‘escape’ and to ‘find’ ourselves.  We seek an echo of our nature within the pages, while hoping also to set aside the constraints of ‘reality’: to ‘lose’ ourselves, as we do in ultimate moments of sexual arousal.

We want danger.

We want extremes.

We want the duality of pleasure and pain.

We want the forbidden.

In Japan, diners delight at the tingle of poison on their lips from the carefully prepared puffer fish, knowing how close they are to danger, to death.

So it can be with our erotic nature.

What greater triumph is there than to feel your mortality and to conquer it?

In reaching a heightened sexual state, we are of the flesh and beyond the flesh: we are corporeal and spiritual. We feel our mortality and we transcend it. At that moment of sublime ecstasy, we ‘defy’ death, becoming more than bone and blood.

We see beyond the mirror.

We see the hidden self.

Emmanuelle de Maupassant wrote The Gentlemen’s Club to explore the darker elements of desire. She believes erotic literature allows us to enter realms we might otherwise dare not.

The Gentlemen's Club - cover - Emmanuelle de Maupassant - erotic fiction, set in 1898

Authors that inspire her writing include Sarah Waters, Michel Faber, Fay Weldon, Angela Carter, and Donna Tartt.

Wicked Wednesday #178 — Chance Meeting

It was a chance meeting.
Sandrine went to the movies with her children. Her daughter was fluent in French, and her son was proficient. Emilie spoke to her in French the entire time, while Michel only spoke occasionally.
The woman next to her started speaking to her in French.
“We live here,” Sandrine continued in her native language. “But I wanted my kids to speak fluent French. I spoke fluent English when I was their age.”
“Me too,” the other woman replied.
It was so rare that she met other women that she connected with, and Sandrine was desperate for connections these days. It was all a blur to her now, the steamy affair that she had with Rafe. She had felt so alive being with him again. She realized she had demonized him, because it was easier for her to do that than to deal with the fact she had never gotten over him.
And she might never…
Seeing him in the newspapers now with Eliza made her sad. She did not hate Eliza, and she wanted Rafe to be happy because she did love him. But whatever was in him that made him want her, was not something she believed he could have extinguished that quickly.
It was not put out for her.
Marcus was okay with it, she was honest with him now. They had that kind of relationship that she could tell him about another man, and he would be okay. He was upset if she was not okay, so she pretended to be.
But sitting with her new acquaintance, in a tres French cafe that she loved, Sandrine caressed her large cafe au lait in both hands. Being with a stranger who did not know her, who did not know any of the players in her life made her feel like she could tell her new friend anything.
Severine, she discovered was also going through a heartbreak of her own. There was an American man who she had loved very much, and met as a flight attendant.
“But he was engaged to this other woman. And it is even harder because they are always in the papers.”
Sandrine swallowed. Hard. She took a huge gulp of cafe au lait, feeling exposed because she had just revealed so much about Rafe to Severine. And she had a sinking feeling. Severine was French like her, and she knew that Rafe had had another lover that was French. Eliza had mentioned it as well.
“The thing that drives me is that he and I, what happened between he and I was passionate and amazing and he acts like it was expendable. But the woman is lovely, maybe she puts up with things I would not. She let him come to me, and when she was in Paris…” Severine’s accent intensified as she talked about her relationship.
Sandrine was no longer listening.
She looked at her cafe au lait, and remembered having even hot long distance sex with Rafe. Going to the bathroom in a cafe in Paris sexting him. The way that they had had sex long distance, was as hot as the sex had been in person.
“Are you okay?” Severine touched her hand.
“Just thinking about my kids,” Sandrine said, hating to use her children to explain her spaciness. “I am sorry.”
“No problem…I was only talking about Rafe…”
Both women looked at each other: Severine for her slip, and Sandrine because it was confirmed. It was Rafe.
Everything unfolded like a dream after that: they paid the check, Severine said that she would linger a bit longer because she was meeting someone and Sandrine left.
Outside, Sandrine took in the air like a smoker. It was hard to breathe.
And then she saw him. Rafe was hurtling toward her, and she wanted to get out of his way.
But she couldn’t, even though she did not know what she would say…

More chance meetings here:

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sky via wikipedia

Kink of the Week Oct 16-31: Dirty Panties

Cora could feel the perspiration at the crack of her ass, as she balanced on it. She was right on the edge, her finger almost rubbed that spot of her clit raw in order to reach her peak.
She needed to come.
This was her second attempt. The first time she had rubbed herself so hard, she missed her orgasm with the wrong flick of her finger. She had pulled up her panties, and closed her legs which still vibrated with lost eros.
It had not been her intention to masturbate herself late to work, but after her shower…even before her shower, she had been horny as all get out. After, she could not keep her hands off of herself: exploring the divide between her breasts, fingering the curve of her neck…She let her finger hover just above her slit, seeing that she was already running late…
Now she was on her bed, trying to get back the orgasm that she had lost.
She came like a crash, so suddenly she gasped. Cora gripped her hand between her legs with the top of her thighs, letting the vibration roll underneath it.
Her whole body was damp, and between her legs was so wet with her come that she could barely keep her grip on her clit. But she came this time, so she was good. She pulled up her panties, and resumed getting ready for work.
Well she was physically there when she arrived to her job. Remembering her morning detour of masturbating, made her dissolve at her desk. Cora could smell her wet desire between her legs. The crotch of her panties were damp as hell. She wanted to touch herself at her desk, but decided that would be insane. Instead she pulled her panties up at her waist, so she could indirectly caress her clit and stepped away from her desk.
In the bathroom, she rubbed the crotch of her panty over her clit until she felt excited enough to slip her finger inside her damp crotch. Her back pressed to the door of the stall, she let her head roll against it as she rubbed her finger and the edge of her panty over her clit until she came.
Again.
It was then that she was satisfied. She pulled her lace panties over her hips, and stepped out of them. She pulled a plastic bag out of her pocket, and inhaled the lace that was redolent with her come before she slipped it into the bag. Her bare ass caressed the door of the stall which made her need to make herself come again.
Cora’s heart raced, and she felt like she might pass out from all the pleasure that she felt twitching between her legs. She pulled the plastic bag out of her pocket, and pulled out her panties to wipe her come with the crotch of them before placing them back in the plastic bag.
She looked like she had run a marathon, when she saw herself in the mirror above the bathroom sink. Cora panted as she washed her hands, before returning to the office.
Of course she had to stay late, she came in late.
But that was not the only reason that Cora stayed late. After everyone had left, she went to the mailroom. She picked up an express mailer, and pulled her panties out of her pocket. A smear of her own come in the plastic bag was visible, as she placed it in the mailer.
She recently started selling her dirty panties for money. It was a nice supplement to her income. This was a return buyer, who said he loved her scent and bought her this pair of lace panties. It made her excited to send them out to him. She wondered what he looked like? Wondered how her panties fit into his ritual exactly?
Cora licked the mailer, an extra bit of her for nothing.
He was a lucky bastard…
She turned around, and saw that she was not alone in the mailroom.
Her boss stood there, his tie loosened and his head pressed to the wall. He had been at an all-day conference nearby, and she had not expected him. Uncertain what he had seen, Cora picked up her package and looked at him.
“Just coming back from your meeting?” she asked casually.
“Why are you still here?”
Cora shrugged,
“I was late this morning.”
“I would not even have known…” he smiled. “You are such a hard worker bee Cora.”
Cora smiled.
She had worked damn hard for the money today…

More dirty panties here:

panties via http://kinkoftheweek.mollysdailykiss.com

New Article "Clementine" and More!

Recently, I have been excited to have new articles on Lelo, Slutist, Kinkly, Romance Beat and my suit fetish guest post for Girl on the Net. With the addition of Bases Loaded–where you can find a sexy excerpt on Lelo’s blog by Oleander Plume!–I added a books page to my blog. I have now added an articles page, where you can find all of my new articles. My newest “Clementine,” is up on the Kinkly website. I expanded this sticky note, and the story wrote itself from there! Here is an excerpt:

Clementine had not even allowed herself to think about him in her most secret thoughts. But three gin cocktails in, she was no longer so controlled. Alex was taken, but she could not resist anymore in her uninhibited state, half lying on a glorious love seat at the vintage bar. She could not resist the idea of parting her knees. In fact she did so, right there. The softness of her own skin-to-skin contact sent prickling waves of excitement to her core.

She got up from the love seat, practically stumbling she was so drunk with imagined desire. Clementine ran her hand over her hip, and let it move up slowly to caress her side breast. Her fingers trickled over to her nipple, and she caressed it just once. To anyone looking, it looked like she was fixing her dress.

“You’re gorgeous,” The man walking toward her a few moments later declared.
Clementine wondered if he saw her touch herself a moment ago, as she looked up from her smartphone and waited for the car she had ordered. She smiled at him softly, as she always did when a man told her she was gorgeous, beautiful, whatever.

“Are you waiting for a car as well?”

He lifted his phone up, and Clementine tilted her head to the side. She shook her head as he showed her the app on his phone which revealed the same driver, and the same car as she expected.

“Yes,” she said, smiling nervously. “Looks like we are waiting for the same one.”

Read the rest here!

photo courtesy of Kinkly

Masturbation Monday No. 60

Tortoiseshell glasses name was Theodora, Nichy found out when Theodora sat down at the table with them. She pushed her tortoiseshell frames up into her hair, and smiled at her. Renee put her hand on Theodora’s thigh, and looked at Nichy. At first she had noticed tortoiseshell–Theodora–because she was very pretty and alone. It seemed like she was waiting for someone. But then Nichy went to the bathroom, and Renee came in, in what was a like a dream proposition now because she and Tyler were all over Theodora.

Not that Nichy wanted it. She still wondered how long it was going to be almost with Gavin. Almost never quite…She never imagined that they would even get this far when she used to have to masturbate in the bathroom at work just to take off the edge, because she wanted him so much.

With Theodora so close to her, she saw something familiar about her. Nichy was not sure, but she felt that she had seen her before? Not a deep friendship, but once or twice maybe? 

Though she could not remember if recently, or before.

Theodora exuded the type of sensuality that even when she was sitting and it was really Renee and Tyler who were trying to seduce her, it looked like she was being served. She had that air.

Where had she seen her before, Nichy wondered…as she picked up her drink and drained the suggestion of ice water that had melted in the glass. Theodora had clearly had a little too much to drink, but she was still rich in sensual grace. Her slit eyelids had a feline quality as she looked around her. 

They all had had too much to drink. Gavin had probably imbibed the least of all of them.

“Want to go home?” he whispered to her.

His warm breath caressed her cheek.

“Let’s go to your place,” she said, pressing her lips to his sleeve.

Nichy saw that he smiled out of the the corner of her eyes. She wanted to be safe for a moment. After all of this time where she had been careful about being discovered, and now she had been abducted and held at empty gunpoint. Going to Gavin’s seemed like a refuge, even though she knew that Graham knew where he lived.

They chose a cab, going home and there was a sense of deja vu for Nichy. She remembered before all of her recent diversions, being in the cab wanting to dry hump Gavin after the blackout when his cousin was going into labor. Now her hand was on his thigh, and he kissed her wherever his lips touched: her cheek, her hand, her neck–wherever.

She just wanted to feel safe, as she slipped her hand inside Gavin’s shirt. He sat up abruptly.

“Not in the cab,” he said quietly.

“Why not?”

Her hand strayed further under his shirt, though he pulled her hand away, and kissed every finger, sucked every finger. 

It went straight to her clit. 

But he had not moved her hand fast enough, and she felt the feeling of metal that she was all to familiar with. That she had rode between her legs with Graham…she knew that feeling.

She knew Gavin had a gun on him, that they had never been to his apartment before, that they already had pulled up in front of his building and she was not sure what she was going up into that apartment for. He had been so calm about Dorian, he had been oblivious about what happened with Graham…was this his response?

Her clit throbbed with desire and fear, as she walked out of the cab. Gavin walked behind her and jingled his keys. 

“Come here,” he whispered, pulling her to him. His kiss was like fire–raged over her mouth, her throat and he kissed what was exposed of her breast in the street, his fingers searching for her under her dress as he pressed her to the wrought iron gate, just out of the view of the doorman.

“Not in the cab, but on the street?!” she laughed nervously, because she would have before but now she was intimidated. 

Gavin pulled his hands away from her. 

Kissed her without touching her.

“Let’s go upstairs…”

He put his hand on the small of her back, his hand lingered over her hip and backside as they walked into the apartment building. The doorman smiled at her, and some semblance of safety returned to her heart.

She was going upstairs with him, and she was not sure she was coming back down…

 More Masturbation Monday here:

  

Sinful Sunday, Week 237: (Extra) Bitter 

  

 

this is a t shirt i love, that i got in san francisco from scharffen berger chocolate…
more sinful sunday here:

  

Wicked Wednesday #177 — Two

It was the two of them in the bathroom. Eliza sat on the toilet with her panties up, and Rafe sat on the floor at her knees. His head was on her thigh, and she clutched his hair, and closed her eyes looking at the unopened pregnancy test.
She was nervous about telling him that she could be pregnant. They had always talked lightly and happily about having kids someday, but not that day. She was nervous would he be ready— she was not ready! Would he wonder if the baby was his since they had opened their relationship? It was open, but the only man that she had actually had sex with was him after she thought they were not going to be together anymore.
But it was Rafe at her feet, caressing her and letting her know he was there for her. Rafe was there when as she went to go open the pregnancy kit, and felt the unmistakable rush of her period start between her legs.
She was not pregnant, and right now she was very relieved because she was not ready to be a mother. Eliza thought of all of the things her mother had done for her, and knew she was not ready for that commitment just yet. Especially not when she had just spent her entire brunch first being afraid she was pregnant, and trying to act like she was not affected at all by seeing Oscar and Polly. She had dreaded encountering them at the auction house, but knew that she had to show face in front of Rafe and Fiona.
That was probably what made her sick.
Everything with Oscar was so intense, the way they met, falling in love with each other, him letting her go and almost making love with him despite it all after…She wandered around Paris after Shanghai to get over him. After everything it was Rafe who came to Paris for her. It was Rafe again when she was staying in the hotel after she ended it with him, and had believed that if she had left that she would not be back.
But he always came back for her, he always came looking for her. In the very beginning when they were first together and she wanted to run from him, she literally ran from him into the woods. Feeling like Sylvia Plath’s poem for her poet husband, Ted Hughes entitled “Pursuit,” she ran breathing hoarsely away from him deep into the woods.
He caught her.
“I got you, I will never let you go gypsy,” he kissed her forehead.
He used to call her a gypsy when they first got together.
Getting on his knees, he kissed her knees, and then her stomach.
“I love you,” she breathed heavily. Rafe continued to kiss her belly, her empty belly and for a moment she wished she was pregnant.
“It is still the two of us gypsy, the two of us like I always promised it would be…if it is meant to be more it will be someday…”
Eliza was breathless when he said that to her because he had not called her that in a long time, it was if they were having the same memories. She looked down at his head as he continued to kiss her now trembling knees, trembling with the depth of her emotions for him.
The two of them were real.


woman dressed in gypsy costume via wikipedia

More Wicked Wednesday here:

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Bits and Pieces of Lady Crush Modesty Ablaze!!!

I am not even going to hide my lady crush on Modesty Ablaze, not even going to try to! Literally I believe that she sets modesty ablaze! Aside from her breathtaking Scavenger Hunt and Sinful Sunday photos, she created the Polaroids Past meme, which I have participated in a few times. Modesty is a Make Love Not Porn star as well! Even though she will try to convince you she is not a writer, she has published several diaries of her sexy exploits.
Even though I am in awe of all she has done, it was the conversation that I had with her for this profile that made me crush on her. She is warm, honest and eloquent. She was a little nervous when we started–I did not tell her I was a little nervous too! But we were tres comfortable within minutes via Skype, and connected on a lot of levels.
I have not done a Bits and Pieces post for a long time. Bits and Pieces is just that, capturing bits and pieces of my amazing subjects unplugged. Here are little bits of Modesty for you, like lovely bonbons to sweeten your life.

I don’t consider myself a writer, I had to psych myself up. One of my lovers said that I should do that (write) and I had a bit of a challenge. I used to write little excerpts of when I had been out and about. So I pieced together pieces that I had written for my husband. ..

You know that thing when you were at school and you were too scared to come up with the answer so that you would not be laughed at, and somebody would say blah blah blah and they would steal your thunder?

Everyone works differently, my husband is a techie. I like pen and paper, good old pen paper…

It comes down to the the fun element, what sounds interesting and brings silliness and fun. I was very shy as a little girl, but I did like to have fun. When I was clowning about, I wasn’t really being myself. I was curious, I think I was a bit out there.

What I would like to say about the Scavenger Hunts really is that…again it’s just really all about having a bit of fun and seizing the moment. Did you see my “Pedestrian Crossing” post and the little video there??? That was really just a fun spur-of-the-moment thing that was made even more fun and thrilling later on when we found out that there was a actually a video camera streaming for 24 hours or so. We only discovered it when we were reminding ourselves of song titles later that day and happened across the video stream feed. Made for lots of giggles and fun cuddles watching it!!! It’s lighthearted, I don’t take myself seriously.

Not many of my girlfriends I can tell that I have a vibrator, some would find it completely offensive. I used to have a mask on, but I own what I do and I have had fun. If my family and friends found out, that would be on them. What I do has not harmed anyone, it has not changed me as a person.

photo of Modesty Ablaze via modesty ablaze.com

E[lust] No. 75

Kilted Wookie
Photo courtesy of Kilted Wookie

Welcome to Elust #75

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #75? Start with the rules, come back November 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Is it hate? Am I a fraud?
On Rape Fantasy
Just Breathe

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

sex, surgery, celibacy

Sex, Death, and Squirting

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*

On Filth

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Erotic Non-Fiction

How I Became an Escort
I’m 2 and 0 for the season
He fights back
Hands On
The foodslut and the semifreddo…
The Photographer
Ex-Nazi girl: my hand on the back of her head
I Belong To You

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Disciplinary Drives
Surrender
On Filth
On sex positivity in public play
Cock Rings 101
A New Scene

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

The Fuck Feast Sexual Literacy Test
Sex Toys in Relationships — Yes, it’s OK.
Negotiating Power
Out of Touch
Don’t catfish: Be you.

Writing About Writing

On Jackie
Trigger Warnings (revisited)

Erotic Fiction

This would be fun
The Fucking Machine.
Erotic Fiction…With Aura
A Little Romance
Domination Dreams
My Pretty Dead Ones
Crushed…

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

5 Hilarious Pieces of Anti-Sex Propaganda
19 Reasons to Cheat on Your Boyfriend

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Masturbation Monday No. 59

Nichy stared behind Tyler’s head. She had avoided him and Renee all day, with their knowing looks at work and now in their corner of the bar. She came in that morning with Gavin, and Renee smirked at her. They went to the bar afterward because they all wandered out of the office at the same time. Gavin was on her heels, and Nichy remembered the loveliness that was waking up with him that morning even though they had not come anywhere near making love.
The memory of Graham scalded her when she remembered him, and what they had done together the night before. Gavin’s hand on her back felt like fire until she remembered where they were. Now sitting close to him their thighs touching, Tyler and Renee looking expectantly at them yet her mind was somewhere else.
She studied a woman who sat at the bar, and looked like a librarian with her tortoiseshell frames. The edge of those frames were between her lips, when she was not sipping her red wine. Nichy wondered if the woman was waiting for someone, or if she was waiting for someone to come to her…
Gavin’s hand squeezed her thigh, high up enough that it felt like his finger flicked her labia. The more he kneaded, the more aroused she felt. Renee’s hand was on her other thigh. Nichy stared at Tyler, but he became out of focus as she closed her eyes and at the sensation of the two of them touching her. She was afraid to move, until she realized that both of their hands might touch high on her thighs.
“Excuse me,” she said suddenly, getting up from her seat.
She had only had a few glasses of wine, but they had gone to her head more than they usually would have and she wobbled a bit. She actually bumped into the woman with the tortoiseshell eyeglasses.
“Excuse me,” she breathed in a softer voice, than she had to her friends.
“No problem honey,” Tortoiseshell Glasses said to her.
Nichy walked into the bathroom, and looked at her face. She looked worn out, thoroughly used. Graham had been hard on her, but he had not left any marks on her. He usually did like to mark her, but even he realized that she would not be able to explain that to Gavin.
If she had not gotten out of bed, if she had just stayed in the bed maybe she and Gavin would have…
The bathroom door opened on her as a smack on her backside, like a playful spank.
In the mirror, she could see Renee.
“He is so lucky Gavin,” Renee said. “You are such a bombshell.”
“Please,” Nichy answered, wincing at her friend’s reflection.
“You know, Tyler likes you…
Nichy did not have anything to fiddle with, so she fiddled with her hair nervously. Renee fiddled with the same strand, and their fingers mingled in her hair. Nichy stared at Renee, whose breath she could feel warm against face.
“He likes you, and he knows that I like you…he was hoping that things did not work out with you and Gavin. He was hoping, I was hoping…”
Nichy turned around, and Renee swept her hair to the side and kissed her neck.
“Renee—”
Renee caressed Nichy’s side breast, and touched what she had only hinted at under the table then.
Nichy closed her eyes.
When she opened them, Renee was gone.
As if in a dream, she walked out of the bathroom looking cautiously for Renee. Renee was talking to Tortoiseshell Glasses with Tyler.
Nichy rubbed her eyes. Had she imagined in the bathroom with Renee? She sat down next to Gavin.
“Do you want to wake up together tomorrow morning?” he whispered in her ear, his lips on her cheek and neck, were layered with the memory of the feeling of Renee’s there.
She nodded, looking down into her glass of wine and putting her hand over Gavin’s on her thigh.

More Masturbation Monday here:

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bar photo by f dot leonora